The title of this blog post may be a bit of a hook I used to get you to read this and hear me out. First off, in reality, no one actually deserves sex workers because sex with other people is a privilege not a right. However, when speaking through a democratic-capitalist framework, then yes, all genders outside of cisgender straight or gay men deserve equal access to sex workers too.
Because of patriarchal socialization, it’s common that cisgender men go for what they want in life sexually and “grab life by the balls,” so to speak. Men are socialized to be the courters, not the courted, unlike women and non-men people. For those who have been told their whole lives to sit back and wait for someone to show interest in them to have a sex life, perusing advertising sites for escorts or Fem Dommes to book for themselves may feel uncomfortable.
Where Many Feminists Got It Wrong
Not to mention that mainstream and some fringe feminist movements have been peddling anti-sex work dogmas for generations to women and non-cisgender male people. We’ve been told since we were old enough to know that “sex work harms women,” even if there is no empirical evidence that backs this up overall. Sex work and sex workers have been the scapegoat for women’s suffering for ages. Why should women, trans, and non-binary people book sex workers to get their sexual needs fulfilled under this context if one believes it to be true?
Because, let me clear things up — sex between consenting adults whether it be between sex workers or non-sex workers is not abuse. Let me say this again. Having sex with someone professionally who consents enthusiastically to a session with you is a form of therapy and personal fulfillment and does not perpetuate a cycle of harm against women or non-cisgender male people. In fact, it helps us sex working women, trans, and non-binary people to book us, pay us our fair rates, and treat us with respect and dignity like any other service worker living under capitalism.
Some of you sex workers out there are already ringing in my ear and I can hear ya’ll screaming, “but only men pay the big bucks for sex workers!” This is a myth I want to confront rooted in misogyny. It’s not that women, trans, and non-binary people won’t pay, it’s that they did not historically have the same expendable cash as cis-men and were told they should be ashamed for paying for sex MORE than men should be (ahem, feminists).
Now, I am a proud feminist — autonomist and materialist feminist inspired to be specific. I am seeing a trend in women becoming more empowered to live their lives free of men or not centering cis-men in the lives they build for themselves. I fully support this as I do so myself. According to the Guardian article “‘Men seem to make life for women worse’: single US women share the woes of dating in 2025,” 45% of women ages 25 through 45 will be single by 2030 because well, men are trash (according to the article).
The Future of Sex Work Clientele
Therefore, there is a new clientele emerging. More educated than cisgender men, and better employment rates as high skilled workers — women, trans, and non-binary people are the ones who will be needing our services as compassionate, non-judgmental providers more than ever before. No longer will compulsory heterosexuality be the norm for women. If men cannot provide a good life for us, well then, we have each other.
Sex workers can help women, trans, and non-binary people through these challenging times figure out what they want out of intimate relationships and their sex lives. This often overlooked clientele can receive training and skills from us for developing their own relationships outside of sex work plus get support with de-centering cisgender male relationships. All that needs to happen is working through certain socialization patterns to learn to step up, and feel confident asking us sex workers for a booking.
Interested in a booking?
If you are a woman, trans, or non-binary person interested in booking me for a session or receiving online services, I empower you to please contact me and introduce yourself. I’m looking forward to meeting you.
Please read my personal statement for more information about me.
Reach out for my sexuality lifestyle coaching services online if you are not ready to make a booking but would like access to my sexual confidence building and compassionate listening services.